Monday, March 10, 2008

Nearly extinct birds not found in the Audubon guide

Family: Small Red-Breasted Bushsitter
Genus: Cottonus Handstitchedus

The Small Red-Breasted Bushsetter is not abundant, even in New York. It is found mostly between 16th Street and 13th Street in Manhattan's East Village but occasionally makes its way to New Jersey via post.

Its food consists primarily of organic CSA produce and home-cooked meals. Although not shy with respect to people, it takes particular notice of children and short-tempered cats.

The flight of the Small Red-Breasted Bushsitter is performed by short falling spells, mostly off tables and counters, followed by the piercing cry of "Mom!!!"

(sent to my sister in New Jersey)

Family: Short-Billed City Wren
Genus: Linenus Floralus-Bellyus

This tiny bird makes its nest in messy, over-crowded sewing workrooms where its occasional mating call sounds a suspiciously like a wail of frustration. It prefers to make its nest from scraps of fabric and knotted threads, and it tends to be a bit of a night-owl since that's the most efficient time for working. The short-billed city wren is always in a hurry, often forgets to eat lunch, and doesn't have time to get its eyebrows waxed for months in a row. This is a water bird that seldom sees time in the pool due to it's overbooked work load.

The short-billed city wren tends to overcommit itself, is far too enthusiastic about too many ideas and projects than the actual time availabile to follow up, and tends to overwhelm its spouse with ideas and requests for help.

(awaiting a home while perched temporarily in my studio)

Genus: Tuquoise-bellied Jay
Family: Piratus painterus

This unusal bird is rumored to enjoy the scent of acrylic paint and occasionally takes up residence near computers and in home offices. It enjoys contemporary art and appreciates minimalist design, and it loves to cook delicious meals while listening to public radio. It's flight is restricted exclusively to short bicycle rides. The subsists exclusively on Artisinal cheese and an occasional bit of trotter at the famous St. John in London.

(given to my studio-mate, Michelle)

(Bird pattern from Joelle's book. Fast and fun to make, especially when hand-sewn.)


  1. Your descriptions brought a smile to my face - thank you!

  2. absolutely beautiful little birdies... i think audobon should rethink including them in the guide! ;)


  3. Glad to see I'm not the only person up at this hour! But seriously, those birds are most adorable! My favorite part is your description! Brilliant! Thanks for sharing!

  4. I love these birds in their naural habitats!

  5. What a clever bird you are! The birds and descriptions really made me smile and giggle - thanks

  6. I made these for my grandmother's cat for Christmas. Added catnip to the filler. Yours are beautiful!

  7. Anonymous10:51 AM

    ...Love your descriptions of the birds. I had grand plans to make a flock at Christmas and gave up at three -- possibly because I was trying to do them on the machine. Hand sewing may be the trick!

    -- Avice

  8. Very fun! You made me smile too.

  9. Anonymous11:24 AM

    This made me laugh too! The turquise bellied jay sounds an awful lot like me...Well, so does the short-billed city wren.

    I keep meaning to make some of these little birds, and I keep not doing it. Perhaps soon. Soon, soon.

  10. You are hilarious! Thank you for adding a little wit to the bird stuffies category - I mean, Beautiful and Inspiring is always good - but add a little wit and then WOW!

  11. Connie7:25 PM

    ~Those are some cute birds and you made me laugh! Your blog is lovely and I've bookmarked it so I can return.~

  12. Adorable! You're so funny!

  13. Ok, the Bushsitter cracked me up beyond belief . . .

  14. Brilliant! Love your blog.

  15. very very cute birds. They remind me that spring is on its way!

  16. Aw... where did you find those fabrics for the birds?

    I have a baby quilt that my aunt made for me out of flour sack cloth... (little boats with sails on a blue background) and many of the ships have worn and torn from a lifetime of washings (or 18 years - after which time I thought to preserve my precious "'iddle boo bankey")

    So for the 18 years since, I've been looking for fabrics with delicate little patterns like that so that I can repair my bankey for future generations.

    Can I have your scraps?
    I know, I'm begging.

  17. your names and descriptions are TOO FUNNY!

    well done.

  18. I made a little flock of these, too. I've given several away, so I need to make more. These little birds were the very reason I bought the book! I loved them right off. Your little bird watching photoblog was great.
    -- Michele

  19. I love the little birdies. I just may 5 myself and I think they are s cute.